sometimes...

…I find it hard to try to live this picture perfect life of mine.
…I can’t seem to be able to live up to this perfect image of me that everyone has. Coz I know that couldn’t be further from the truth…
… I feel the picture crack, just because of some tiny thing that shouldn’t matter, not if I were the person everyone seems to believe I am anyways…

Really don’t know how to handle this. It always seems to come back to the same old things. It’s always the same things that make me fall, make the picture crack, and I can’t seem to be able to do something about it. Every time it seems as if I get a hold of things, and life seems to be great, it comes back, and I just don’t know how to change it, how to change me. I find a way of changing, and it falls away, somehow things doesn’t turn out the way I hoped, the way I wanted, the way I thought I needed them to.

… I feel like I’m just wearing a mask, hiding the real me from everyone else around me.
… I think I’m even tricking myself with this mask.

I’m tired, so tired of this mask, of doing this roundabout thing over and over again. I really can’t take it, can’t afford to do it anymore, but I have no idea of how to break out.

God, can You take this, can You fight this battle for me? Coz I don’t know how to fight it anymore…
All I know is that I need You, and that I need You bad, right now! Don’t know how to deal with this unless You promise You’ll be there with me.

…the perfect picture is breaking,
And sometimes… I think that’s a good thing…