I have one day off (during the week) about every sixth week, and this day is very precious to me. I always plan to do way too much, and end up maybe doing about half of it.
A while back it was no different. Among other things, I had some shopping to do, and wanted to do it during the day, because i expected there to not be too many people at the mall at that time. Driving into the parking lot, I realized their were a bit more people than I expected, but I got parked okay and got some of my shopping done.
As I left the parking lot I decided I really (like REALLY) wanted this one special cinnamon bun at another shop nearby, so I drove into the other parking lot. Usually I park in the basement, but there was a line of cars going in there, so I tried to find a spot outside instead. After a while (that felt WAY TO LONG) of cars stopping without signaling, talking the few spots I saw available before I could get to them and blocking my way, my frustration grew and grew. I finally got sick of it all and while telling God how totally unfair I thought this was, I decided to leave. I kept telling God what I thought about it, why did there have to be this mange people on my ONE day off?!?!? I hit the steering wheel and screamed at the top of my lungs (yes, I just might be a bit insane...) just to get some of the frustration out.. Then I decided that, yes, I REALLY wanted that cinnamon bun, and thought I should give it ONE more try. So I turned back. This time there was no other cars going down to the basement, so I turned in there, but just before I got to the entrance, a car got in before me. There was several cars in there trying to find a spot. But as I got close to the mall entrance, a car drove out from the lane closest to the entrance. The car in front of me continued to go straight ahead, so I turned in. And as I saw the free spot TWO cars away from the entrance, I felt, what cannot be explained in any other way than a kiss from Heaven. And I heard that still, small voice on the inside, as clearly as I haven't in a long, long time, saying, ”Maria, I love you! I LOVE YOU! Yes, you might be acting like a spoiled brat at the moment, but I still love you!” I almost burst into tears, but managed to push them back (you know, I still had to go into the shop..)
I've heard it many, many times before, and in my head I know it to be true, but sometimes, it's hard to really know in my heart, that He truly loves me. I know me, I know what I've done, and what I haven't done.. but no matter what I have or haven't done, or what I will or will not do, He still loves me!
I don't know where you're at in your life, whether you've heard it a thousand times before, or not at all. Either way, know that God loves YOU! Not just the picture perfect person next to you, who seems do do everything right, He loves YOU! Just the way you are, nothing more, nothing less! You cannot do anything to deserve it, or anything to loose it, He loves YOU! Always have, always will. If you don't know anything else about God, know this, cause this is where it all starts, and what everything else need to spring out of. And this is what this season we're going into is all about, God coming down to earth, simply because He loves you too much to have heaven without you! So search for HIM this season, not just focus on all that you have to do. I know your heavenly Dad wants so bad to give you your very own kiss of heaven, just to show you how much He really loves you! (Even if you sometimes act like a spoiled brat...)